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Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child

Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted ChildAuthors: Holly Van Gulden, Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb
Publisher: The Crossroad Publishing Company
Category: Book

List Price: $19.95
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Seller: internationalbooks
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars 13 reviews
Sales Rank: 67726

Media: Paperback
Edition: 1
Pages: 288
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.1
Dimensions (in): 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.9

ISBN: 0824515145
Dewey Decimal Number: 306
EAN: 9780824515140
ASIN: 0824515145

Publication Date: September 1, 1995
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Features:
  • ISBN13: 9780824515140
  • Condition: New
  • Notes: BUY WITH CONFIDENCE, Over one million books sold! 98% Positive feedback. Compare our books, prices and service to the competition. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed

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  • Hardcover - Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child (Counselling titles)

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Editorial Reviews:

Product Description
"A leading authority offers practical advice for parents on how to talk with their children about adoption and how to help them through the rougher times of growing up adopted. Highly recommended."--Library Journal.


Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 13



5 out of 5 stars This book is a must if you are adopted or are going to adopt   April 13, 1999
29 out of 29 found this review helpful

This book helped with my understanding of adopted children. As an adopted child I was able to understand the feelings I have been feeling all my life. it opened up communication with me and my parents. I would truly recommend this book to all people.


5 out of 5 stars Indispensable help for anyone adopting an older child...   November 29, 2004
JB in MN (USA)
17 out of 18 found this review helpful

I almost did not buy this book after reading a review that it was "too clinical." Thank heaven I went for it anyway. It was SO interesting and SO helpful, it has inspired me to write my first book review here on Amazon. I have read every book I can get my hands on since I adopted a 4-year-old from another country and this was by far the most useful to me. While it also covers adoption of infants and domestic adoption, Van Gulden delves deeply into adoption of older (more than a year old), international/interracial children and the issues they face. I especially like how - after each chapter - she gives a list of other resources/books to consult for more information. There are great suggestions of children's books that will help you approach most any difficult topic that can - and will - come up with your new child. I am back here shopping for more copies tonight - get a copy for grandma/grandpa and anyone else close to you who may need a little education on the unique intricacies of adopting an older child from another culture or race. I am so grateful to have found this book and highly recommend it. Adoption is one of life's richest blessings - and most worthy challenges. This book will help you appreciate and cope and know that you are not alone.


5 out of 5 stars Very helpful book on many adoption fronts   September 11, 2003
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald (USA)
17 out of 19 found this review helpful

Gulden and Bartels-Rabb cover a large number of issues that adoptive parents would greatly benefit knowing about, even if some don't apply to their personal situation, such as adoption of an older child and the consequent issue of bonding and attachment and re-naming the child. Also, the book offers a great bibliography. I could identify with several points brought up. Preplacement and postplacement stress (and joy!) is one issue I can still vividly remember. Also the fact that parenting adopted children is, in fact, different from parenting birth children. In our case, I found this to be especially true during the first year of our daughter's life when nature had not prepared me for the arrival of a child. Our daughter was four days old and loved around the clock. However, I found that the difference between her and our two birth children lasted only as long as the milk flowed. After that, I saw three unique individuals, and as the years went by, the issue of adoption was no more a household word than the issue of biological birth. We spoke lovingly of her birthmother and brought her up at special events, yet our daughter, very easy-going in temperament, never seemed to suffer an identity crisis or later, an interest in searching. When her birthmother appeared 29 years later, she began a cordial relationship with her but claims that the reunion has not made her whole while before she was fragmented. She had merely made a new friend. Perhaps our daughter was like the little eleven-year old boy quoted by Gulden and Bartels-Rabb: "You know all those things you've been saying about my birth parents? Well, I've come to the conclusion that those poor suckers lost a good thing." It would be nice if all adopted kids felt as confident, but that's sadly not true.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?



5 out of 5 stars Super!   March 20, 2002
13 out of 14 found this review helpful

Not only is this a fantastic resource for adoptive parents, but an incredible review of normal childhood development and the grieving process. The authors address all scenerios for adoption (foreign, domestic, cross-cultural, from infancy and beyond, from foster care, etc.) in a clear and informative way. The research into this book must have been phenomenal. Recommended reading for parents well into the process as well as prospective parents. It's both honest and hopeful. Bravo!


5 out of 5 stars Why didn't someone clue me in about this book sooner?   September 9, 2008
Real Mommy (Conroe, TX)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful

As an adoptive parent and an adoption and foster care professional, it is hard for me to believe that I didn't find out about this wonderful book years ago! The information on the child development, and how it is impacted by adoption is excellent. The information on how adoption impacts family dynamics is invaluable in helping adoptive parents and professionals understand the changes that are occurring for adoptive parents as the journey of adoption proceeds. I wish that I had known some of this information as I was struggling with the changes that adoption was making in me. The book normalized my experience and I would recommend it to anyone who is adopting or thinking about adopting. It reads a bit like a text book, and so might seem bookish for anyone who has not parented, but anyone engaged in parenting, biological, adopted or foster children would benefit from reading this book! (PS I was so impressed with this book that I am taking the time to write these comments... a first for me after at least 10 years of buying books from Amazon.com.)

Showing reviews 1-5 of 13