Brothers and Sisters in Adoption |  | Author: Arleta M. James
Publisher: Perspectives Press
Category: Book
List Price: $30.00
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Rating:  7 reviews
Sales Rank: 92186
Media: Hardcover
Pages: 544
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 2.9
Dimensions (in): 10.1 x 7 x 1.8
ISBN: 0944934358
EAN: 9780944934357
ASIN: 0944934358
Publication Date: April 15, 2009
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
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Product Description
When experienced parents decide to adopt an older child or a sibling group, they jump through all kinds of bureaucratic hoops background checks, interviews, group meetings, reading assignments, classes, etc. But most often the typically developing children these adults are already parenting (whether through birth or adoption) are left out of the process, informed that a new kid is coming, and simply expected to adjust to the addition of a sibling.
Adding a child with a history of neglect or trauma cannot be a seamless transition. The expectations of everyone involved parents, new siblings, and, yes, the professionals facilitating the adoption must be realistic, taking into account that the new child will need special attention and services that may take away time and attention from the already resident kids, that family life is likely to be turned topsy- turvy until appropriate counseling and support are in place, that relationships will change.
Therapist Arleta James is certainly not the first person to recognize this, but she is the first to do something about it. Brothers and Sisters and Adoption offers insights and examples and sturdy, practical, proven tools for helping newly configured families prepare, accept, react, and mobilize to become a new and different family meeting the practical, physical and emotional needs of all its members. These well prepared and supported families are the ones who thrive!
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| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 7
Essential reading for adoptive families February 10, 2009
Gail Steinberg (Novato CA USA)
7 out of 7 found this review helpful
As the adoptive mom of four, all I can say is, boy I wish this book had been available when our family was growing through adoption. We didn't know what we didn't know and could have made transitions and family development so very much better. The wits to explain what to expect to the children already in the family when a new sibling arrives come with this supportive book. Brothers and Sisters in Adoption also seems especially great at working with parental guilt over not being able to immediately cure a child who brings the burdens of mental illness or at the least, a history of traumatic change. No sugar coating, this is a must read for any family growing through adoption. Arleta M. James has produced a handbook that is invaluable.
My favorite book of the year February 17, 2009
SeattleReviewer (Seattle)
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
What about brothers and sisters? Finally a book has been written, and written well, that considers the impact of placement on their well-being.
This practical sourcebook helps parents move all the way from the typical case description they will receive to preparation and finally homelife adjustments. The organization of the book is fantastic. The research and resources are thorough. Thanks, Arleta, for the contribution this will make in many, many children's lives. Thanks for giving us such a clear view of brothers and sisters in adoptions.
Deborah Gray, MSW, MPA author of Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents and Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma, Perspectives Press.
LIVING IT ! ONE DAY AT A TIME February 25, 2009
J. CUCKLER (East Sparta,Ohio /USA)
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
This is a must read for every adoptive & foster parent.A book that should
be a mandated read for those entering into foster parenting & adoption.A
handbook for those professionals that care for & work with these children,
from caseworkers,counselers,therapists,teachers, etc...I personaly have
witnessed the lack of knowledge by professionals (all of the above)in the
area's that Arleta James addresses in this very informative & priceless book.My wife & I have been thru many professionals in these areas, & have
fought with many professionals,& government agencies to get understanding
& help for our children.We have fought hard, long, & often to obtain the
help our children & family has needed over the last 5yrs.The knowledge Arleta presents to us in this book, consists of a dedicated, caring,
remarkable profession, that has taken on the responsability of helping these children & families.I speak personally when I say Arleta James can
help all of us in understanding,& to successfully work our way through the trials & tribulations associated with these issues.Our family would
like to say " THANK YOU ARLETA " for helping all who read this insightful
well writen book.THANK YOU!!!!
BRIAN CUCKLER SR. & FAMILY
East Sparta,Ohio
Highly recommended reading for anyone one considering the adoption of older children, distressed children, and siblings March 14, 2009
Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA)
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
Often the question of adoption will involve siblings. When experienced parents consider adopting an older child or a sibling group they must go through a series of requirements imposed by adoption agencies that will include background checks, interviews, group meetings, reading assignments, as well as classes in parenting and the problems associated with adopted children. Often the children themselves with have a history of neglect or trauma that must be addressed. Drawing upon her many years of experience and expertise as a Cleveland, Ohio-based clinical therapist whose specialty is adoption and foster care, Arleta James has authored "Brothers And Sisters In Adoption: Helping Children Navigate Relationships When New Kids Join The Family", a compendium of advise, counsel, information, and commentary that deals with a roster of vital issues ranging from developing realistic expectations about the adoption process and the readiness of the family to adopt siblings; the role of fathers in adoptive families; as well as child displacement, disruption and dissolution issues. Of special note are the chapters on family mobilization and issues related to adopted children turning 18 and becoming adults in their own right. Enhanced with a glossary, references, an index, and a number of pertinent appendices, "Brothers And Sisters In Adoption" is highly recommended reading for anyone one considering the adoption of older children, distressed children, and siblings, making it an ideal and invaluable addition to personal, academic, community library, and adoption agency reference shelves.
Wonderful, comprehensive resource!!! September 18, 2009
Christine L. Mitchell
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Brothers and Sisters in Adoption is one of the best resources I have read for families adopting older children and children with traumatic backgrounds. I truly wish this book was around before we adopted. It will really help adoptive families examine their expectations, and help both parents and existing children develop more realistic expectations. Arleta explains the impact of the child's past trauma and the adoption on each member of the family: the newly adopted child, adoptive parents, and typically-developing children already in the family. She also explores the strain that can occur between spouses, and the differing expectations, responses, and parenting styles between fathers and mothers.
This resource is extremely comprehensive in the issues it covers - no aspect of older child adoption is left out. It offers valuable insight for parents in understanding everything from the impact of prenatal exposure, abuse, and neglect to getting support, and navigating special education. It helps parents see things through the new child's eyes, and understand some of the underlying reasons behind a child's disruptive behaviors. And it offers practical advice on the appropriate strategies to manage negative behaviors and avoid some of the situations that trigger them, as well as ways to support typically-developing siblings. Older child adoption is hugely rewarding, but also filled with intense challenges at times. Brothers and Sisters in Adoption will help the entire family navigate these challenges on the road to healing and becoming a family.
Christine Mitchell, author of:
Welcome Home, Forever Child: A Celebration of Children Adopted as Toddlers, Preschoolers, and Beyond and Family Day:: Celebrating Ethan's Adoption Anniversary
Showing reviews 1-5 of 7
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